Monday, February 27, 2006

Observations made this weekend:

1) A live football match is the perfect opportunity to sit staring into middle distance for 2 hours and have no-one bother you. Just wrap up warmly.

2) The Chelsea Football Club Hotel is full of pikeys chain smoking and knocking back lager. And it has a Harry Ramsden fish and chip restaurant in the lobby.

3) A good trashy novel is essential when spending 4 hours on the loo in your hotel room with a dodgy bowel complaint. This weekend I chose Michael Crichton. I did not choose the Dodgy Bowel complaint, it just found me and enjoyed my company. I was very tired the next day.

4) Do not leave your suitcase with reception of afore-mentioned hotel and expect them to know where they put it when you come back to collect it later. They will sling it in a room with 200 other suitcases, no identification and no ordered system of retrieval.

5) When asking Brother-in-law to retrieve said suitcase from Disaster Zone, do not tell brother-in-law to look for a black suitcase when your suitcase is actually grey.

6) Apologise gracefully for your mistakes in the mis-identification of suitcase, resulting in Brother-in-law searching in vain for 40 minutes for a black suitcase instead of grey one.

7) When using the automatic ticket machine to buy a single train ticket, ensure you check carefully the tickets you select BEFORE entering your credit card. Otherwise you may inadvertently purchase 2 adult return tickets and 2 child return tickets costing you £42 more than was srictly necessary.

8) Consider checking that the train you intend to board is actually running, and has not been replaced by a coach service due to engineering works. It is advisable to do this before you waste a couple of hours browsing in the shops because coaches are MUCH slower than trains.

8) When choosing your seat on an Easy Jet flight home, do not choose the seat next to bored 4 year old with a cold, a temper, and a neglectful mother.

Heed my warnings...


Blogger Tim said...

oh dear.

9:53 PM  

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