Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Nowt so queer as folk

My desk is directly under the front window of our office, which is on the High Street. We have a window display with photos and drawings of our projects, with little captions to describe them.

People stop and look at the display all the time and I am amazed at some of the comments that come drifting in through the window. I am sitting 1 metre away from these people, in full view, and yet this is what I have overheard in the last week:

'ooooh... (really sarcastically) ...Prestigious medical centre with fabulous double height reception and waiting area, eh? Who do they think they are?

'huh, they like to blow their own trumpet a bit don't they?'

'Barn conversions? (incredulously) All they've done is stick in some big windows and tart it up a bit. I could do that.'

'what are they? Architects? ...don't think much to that house there...'

I don't think it's that unusual to be proud of the service you provide, and display examples of your work to the public, is it? And how exactly do they expect us to describe our projects, if we don't say they are good? Maybe this is what they are expecting:

'Photos above show our moderately successful medical centre in run-down area of central Scotland. We got a special grant so spent the money building a double height reception area. Don't know why we bothered. It's full of coughing and spluttering chavs who would never notice their architectural surroundings anyway. Should have just bunged up a portacabin and spent the rest on a holiday.

Image to the right shows a partially complete marina on the west coast. It is not finished because it went way over budget and the client ran out of cash. The materials we specified looked cool and contemporary but due to cuts in the budget the substitutes requested by the client look cheap and nasty. Ah well, bit disappointing but never mind.'

The next person who makes some snidey comment at my window may find me leaning over my desk, parting the blinds and saying 'oh hello! It appears that you have some expert knowledge on all matters architectural! Perhaps you would care to come in for a coffee and discuss where we are going wrong?'


PS. Just for the avoidance of doubt, the above comments about our projects are wholly fictional and do not represent the reality. Naturally ALL our projects are marvellous, finish on time and within budget. The comments are written purely for comic affect and should not detract from the briliant design output of this small yet thriving practice. Thank you.

Oh and by the way, I have redesigned the disgusting hideous houses I was moaning about the other day. Much better now.


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