Monday, November 06, 2006

Imagined conversation

On the morning of 5th November, Linlithgow Rugby Club.

Head Groundsman: Right. Lets get these fireworks set up for tonight's event.
Assistant: Okey Dokey - what about over here? It's away from neighboring houses, overhanging trees, and we can keep the crowd at a safe distance.
Head Groundsman: Pah! all this health and safety nonsense! Lets put them here instead! This way all the burning cinders will blow right onto the crowds, thus heightening the thrill! Nothing like the threat of a red hot iron filing in the eye to spice up bonfire night. Also, we are right next to some trees so there could be the possibility of en extra bonfire - ha ha ha. And why don't we build the most enormous bonfire you've ever seen and put it 5 meters upwind from these trees and houses, just to keep people wondering. We'll put the safety barrier quite near to the fire. It doesn't really matter because the heat from the inferno will ensure that no-one will be able to get anywhere near without getting first degree burns. Now - where's my petrol can?...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow how random. I read it after it was the only result I got on google when I searched for "hot iron filing" for some chemistry homework. :p

2:29 AM  

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