Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Library war

I sometimes go to my local library for half an hour in my lunch break. (Well, I am 30 now, got to slow down a bit.)

There is a lovely big armchair in the back corner where I take my books and read. It is MY chair. I will NOT have little old ladies sitting there looking at knitting patterns.

This has happened 3 days in a row now, and I have been forced to sit in the teen section, surround by judy Blume novels and comics. I have tried giving the Trespasser evil looks but they have gone un-noticed. I have tried arriving a little earlier than normal, but she seems to get herself ensconced well before my lunchtime begins.

This is serious now. I may have to resort to dirtier tactics. Any ideas?

5 Comments:

Blogger Tony Ruscoe said...

What's the maximum number of knitting patterns you can book out of the library at any one time?

If you have them all booked out, she'll have nothing to read and will hopefully go home disgruntled...

12:59 PM  
Blogger HotPhil said...

I would wander over near her and make a smell.

1:02 PM  
Anonymous rach said...

Tony, that's not a bad idea. Due to the vast collection of knitting pattern books in the library I may have to purchase one of those tartan wheel-along bags to get them home.

Phil, making a smell is what old ladies do all the time. Even my worst green-mist farts could not comete with Old Lady Odour.

Maybe I could befriend her, start a knitting circle, become close and then explain to her the distress she has caused me. Our newly formed friendship will seem more important to her than the arm chiar and she will gladly relinquish it. She will then be relagated to the teen section and I will be left sitting in splendour and comfort.

1:06 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

At least it is just old ladies. I'm always sat next to at least one mental at my library. And there's always one old freak walking about going "Aaaaggh. AAA Aaaagghghh. Aaghh. Aaaggh. Aa. AAhahhghhh."
That's Sheffield for you, innit.

2:37 PM  
Blogger Christian Briddon said...

Phil really would make a smell. He does it all the time at work.

Never admits to it though.

Oh yes, his feet smell of vinegar when he take his shoes off.

6:06 PM  

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