Monday, April 02, 2007

Out of the fashion wilderness

I have trouble finding clothes I like. I don’t really like shopping because I get all upset about my body image and other girly self loathing stuff like that. So, imagine my delight when, on a shopping spree yesterday, I came home with a plethora of new tops.

For many years I have been in the fashion wilderness. The reason for this is due to the horrible selection of style of tops on sale. It started about 4 years ago when every single top on the high street was either see through or had awful wingy bits of fabric flapping off, or both. I looked ridiculous in either type.

Also for the past 5 years the length of tops has been singularly un-flattering for any woman over the size of a 12. It seemed impossible to find any tops longer than waist length and any trousers that weren’t ridiculously low rise. This length is fine when you are standing up, but as soon as you sit (which I do all day at work) it’s muffin tops* a-go-go; a heinous fashion crime, and sadly one of which I know I am occasionally guilty.

So – HURRAH for common sense – decent length garments are back. I bought 5 lovely tops and jumpers that modestly cover my backside and sort of wrinkle forgivingly over my flabby stomach. I am sitting comfortably in the knowledge that my colleagues aren’t subjected to the appalling view of my flab, punctuated by the elastic of my pants poking out the top of my trousers.

It also appears that wonderfully low cut, wide necklines are back in the shops, which are great for me with my large chest. There is nothing quite like a high round neckline to transform a voluptuous bust into an awful lump resembling a loaf of bread. It’s hard being a girl, don’t you think?

*Glossary for Boys:
A ‘muffin top’ is when the flab on your hips bulges out the top of your trousers, and your t-shirt is too short to cover the offending area. See following photo. This is not me. Mine can be much worse.


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