False eyelashes

I can categorically confirm that, in the whole of my town this lunchtime, there were only one pair of false eyelashes to be bought, and I bought them.

I had to go to 4 different shops. I had began to panic that my barbershop chorus costume for the big competition this weekend was going to be non-regulation, and heaven help you if you have non regulation eyelashes.

As it happens my eyelashes are not the stipulated kind, but I figured I'd just keep schtum and see if anyone notices that mine are Eyelure style 04 instead of Eyelure style 06. I might even rebel further and sneak on a little lipgloss over the horrendous 1940's red lipstick we have to wear.

Ooooh, I can only imagine the raging envy you feel for my glamorous life..