Friday, September 21, 2007

Nose whistlers should be segregated

The concert last night was fantastic. I found I was grinning my head off during the first movement of The Plants, Mars the bringer of war. It’s such a great piece of music and hearing it live and with such a huge orchestra belting out was just mind blowing.

The only down side was the man sitting behind me had a really squeaky nose. Once I had noticed I couldn’t un-notice, and found myself leaning forwards in my seat to try and escape the high pitched noise. It’s so irritating, in the same way snoring is irritating if you are trying to go to sleep. There is a brief 2 seconds of relief while they breathe in. - and then there it is again, like nails down a black board.

There is something fundamentally wrong about being forced to listen to someone’s breath whistling past their dried up old snot. He should have been escorted from the premises and forcibly ejected onto the street, closely followed by a roll of bog paper and some Vicks.

10 mins later...
I’ve just researched this phenomenon on the web it would seem it’s a serious medical problem for many people cause by a deviated nasal septum. Whilst I sympathise with such Unfortunates, I still think they should be forced to confess their disability when purchasing tickets for musical or theatrical evens, or attempting to enter a library or other quiet public space.

Electronic tags should be introduced, a sort of modern-day leprosy bell, if you will, and based on the ankle tag technology currently fixed to inmates on early release. Alarms would be triggered if a whistling nosed tag wearer enters the concert venue. Staff members could then escort them to a specially constructed booth where they could sit and enjoy the concert with as much accompanying whistling as they liked.

(Nick’s nose never whistles, scrupulously and beautifully devoid of bogeys as it is. I have to say that I am now concerned that he may bring on a premature case of deviated nasal septum precipitated by his meticulous nostril maintenance programme.)


Anonymous Cousin Jenny said...

You do make me laugh Rach!

9:10 PM  

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